Alright guys, I have a very special post for you today. It’s special because 1. it’s totally embarrassing, and 2. no one has ever seen these before!
On Monday I gave you a list of reasons why I think everyone should keep a journal. Some of those reasons included keeping track of your goals, a good place to vent, or record major life experiences, jot down ideas and as a way to creatively express yourself. All of which I still think are great reasons, but my favourite reason for keeping a journal is to look back on my life.
So that’s what I did this week. I pulled out my giant bins of books and started digging. And one thing I noticed is that even though I’ve changed a lot, I’m still the same person I was when I was a kid. It’s kind of interesting to see so much of who I am now in who I was then, but also to see how much I’ve grown and changed, too.
Let’s take a look at some of these for shits and giggles.
Apparently I got my first journal (or diary) for my 7th birthday. And OMG my printing is terrible. Looking back, I kind of can’t believe that I became a writer. For a 7 year old I had terrible spelling and grammar, and my handwriting didn’t improve until I was much older! Also, I always gave my journals a name when I was younger. My mom said it would make it feel more like talking to a good friend. This one was named after my best friend Samantha.
This one I named Teresa, Barbie’s friend, the doll with the red hair.
The early 2000s, just after the 90s. And that damn Tania who ruined my slinky lmao! But at least on Friday I got candy from my French teacher.
This journal entry is also from 2001. I wrote it after I broke my right arm in grade 6, and as you can see I asked my mom to finish writing it for me. I had to spend weeks writing with my left hand, and now I can write pretty well left-handed!
Clearly I was a dumb as fuck kid, because I swung as high as I could and then put my arms straight up in the air… Why I thought that was a good idea I’ll never know.
Oh, the days of MSN! And learning all of the different text acronyms and abbreviations. I wrote this journal entry between grade 7 and 8. I remember that as one of the loneliest summers of my life as I drifted away from all of my childhood friends and sought out new people.
From grade 9. Clearly it was important for me to describe this TV show I was watching. Does anyone remember that show?
Teletoon had the best cartoons ever. My cousin Alissa and I used to stay up to watch Teletoon at Night and we would watch shows like Clone High, Undergrads, The Oblongs and Robot Chicken. I’ll never forget when my step-dad came into the basement and we were watching Quads! and was like, “What the fuck are you watching?!” Ahahaha!
I decided to skip a few years because between the ages of 14-17 I was really weird, and as much as I enjoy embarrassing myself online, I really can’t even make myself share that ridiculous shit. But to give you an idea of some of the things I posted I’ll share this much:
“I slept over at Alissa’s house with Terra on Friday night. There were dead chipmunks and water fights. Beating up Terra and making weird profiles on Vampire Freaks with usernames like anal_whore. We burnt june bugs and ate hamster food. We also watched Superstar and jumped on the trampoline. Then we bought pizza with stolen money and paid for Jenn to take a cab over. She brought … and alissa and I were … and she tackled Terra to “save her life” from an old man with a gun. And aliens caught us and put us in a spinning mind warper. Techno is the best.”
I’ll let you fill in the blanks. But even I don’t understand that shit! And that’s the journal entry that makes the most sense from that time.
I also decided not to share any entries from my journal when I was pregnant, because it’s too personal and I want to save all of those memories for myself.
But I like this entry, because it’s from the time Nick and I rented our first apartment together!
These were my goals for 2009. <3
So in 2010 I thought I was going to die from a brain aneurysm. Like, thinking about it became an obsession! I even made my doctor give me two CAT scans to be sure.
I had so much anxiety that year it was unreal.
Actually, a lot of journal entries are all “ermagad my life sucks! I’m such a fat weirdo, no body likes me! I wish this depression and anxiety would go away! I just want to be a better person and have a happy life.” And I wrote about that for like, 10 years or more. Drama queen much.
And here’s my journal entry from the day I met Sarah <3
As you can see I included their ages ha ha! It’s interesting to see that, because it reminds me of how obsessed I was with age and getting old. I was 22 and honestly thought I was so old and needed to hurry up and get my shit together. That was four years ago and I still don’t have my shit together, but age isn’t nearly as important to me any more.
Knowing I have hundreds, if not thousands, more journal entries that are way more embarrassing than these kind of makes me want to just burn them all. But I won’t.
Did you keep a journal? Do you ever read it years later?
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