Usually when you ask someone “what do you want to be in life” their answer is to tell you their dream job. When people ask me that question, my answer is usually “I have no fucking clue.” because truthfully, I really don’t have a god damn clue. I once told my mom that if I had the money, I would live on Greyhound busses and bus myself to a new city every week or so and live there, and then hop onto another bus and go somewhere else. She told me she could actually see me doing that, and that I’d be a hobo with good eyebrows.
As I get older I have been becoming more accepting of how I live my life. I live more in the moment. I do whats going to make me happy at that moment. I don’t plan for the future, because reality is, none of us know what could happen in future. I have no career goals, which is embarrassing to admit and I do wish that I did have some, but I don’t. I think that will come in time as I learn more about who I am as a person. I have a few ideas in mind, but the thought of going to school, spending so much money and time, to then do nothing scares the shit out of me. When the time is right, I’ll know what I want in that aspect. But for now, what do I want to be in life? Genuinely happy. Not just content with how things are going. Happy.
I would love to have my own apartment one day with someone I love, my cat, and maybe another cat or other pet. No kids. Never kids. Our kitchen would be super retro with checkerboard tiles on the floor, and I’d make them breakfast most likely in my underwear. Or they could make it for me and I’d eat it in my underwear. Breakfast and being in underwear just seem to go together to me for some reason. We’d
probably definitely always have booze in the house and would enjoy having friends over for drinks, or just kicking back together and having a few. Something I believe in, is that you have to be with someone you can have fun grocery shopping with. I’ve gone grocery shopping where I’ve danced in the aisles to whatever lame song was playing, sometimes making the other person dance as well, while grabbing whatever food we wanted. I love cooking and want to get better at it, and I’d love to end up with someone who also shares that interest. Making homemade food and experimenting with recipes, and obviously teasing the shit out of each other if we ended up making something bad. I also feel like I’m the type of person to have odd art all over my apartment… I mean, I currently don’t because I can’t afford it, but I feel like any art that I do find myself liking is kind of “weird” to others. Oh and we’d definitely have some sort of pretty lights in our bedroom, because fuck yeah sex under pretty lights.
I want to travel. I want to go to so many places. Not even just overseas, I want to see more of Canada and definitely America. Especially America, because I’ve only been to a few tiny places and there’s so much to see, and so many restaurants to try! I wouldn’t even care if I ended up having to do this via Greyhound bus, weirdly enough I actually love long bus rides. I find them relaxing and enjoy just staring out the window while listening to music and seeing everything that passes by. Going on a road trip would probably be my dream vacation. I just love the sense of adventure.
That being said, I want to adventure more locally as well. I want to go on long walks and find local waterfalls and just find beautiful places to just sit and enjoy life. (By locally I don’t just mean Toronto but in Southern Ontario.) I don’t just want, but I think I need to spend more time outdoors and in nature. I live AND work in a basement. I’m like, one level above being a mole person. I love being outside when the weather is nice and having day drinks at the park. Simply sitting outside and enjoying the sunshine, it’s just a nice feeling.
As for work? I really don’t know the answer to that. While most people hate retail, I really don’t mind it. Honestly I’d probably be content if I ended being a manager of some small underground store. Obviously I’d love to be able to make a living off of blogging, but I can’t imagine that many people will ever find my life that interesting. Right now I sort of just have the mindset that well, work is work. You go there to do work. Of course its a lot better when you love your job and coworkers, but I think its more important to love your life outside of work rather than at work.
Maybe I have the completely wrong idea of how life should be. Most people you talk to have “life plans” and know what direction they want their life to go in. They plan for the future, like far into the future. I barely plan for my entire week. I’m not going to say life is short, but life is unpredictable. Anything can happen at any moment. Things can go from great to terrible, or even from terrible to great, and in the end we really have no control over it. Which is terrifying and exciting.
Whatever your main goal in life is, whether it be a certain career, to make a certain amount of money, to live in a certain country, or just to feel a certain way. There’s no way of knowing where life is going to take us. But I hope we all make it.