So as some of you may have read on my blog the past few weeks, I have been through some shit. I’ve been through things that could drive someone fucking mental, and while I’ve definitely had times where I’ve felt like I was going mental, here I am as normal as I’ll probably ever be. I’m not perfect, I never will be, but I truly believe I have grown to be a fairly genuine and honest person. Sure, if I don’t like you I may spew some shit, and I may not be the most mature at times, but I would never talk shit about my friends. I would never go out of my way to hurt someone. I don’t lie. I don’t pretend to like people. I’m not fake. I’m myself at all times.
We all know that being a “sad boy/girl” is a fucking trend these days. Who would have thought the day would come where being sad was fucking TRENDY. It’s cool to want to kill yourself. It’s cool to use depression as an excuse to treat people like shit. It’s cool to claim to be “too fucked up” and “too big of a piece of shit” to actually care about someone else.
Honestly… What the fuck?
Shitty things are going to happen to all of us, we’re all going to have our hearts broken at some point. We’re all going to feel depressed at some point. We’re all going to think shitty things about ourselves at some point. We’re all going to like someone who doesn’t like us back, we’re all going to feel helpless at times. Everyone is going to deal with some crappy ass shit at some point. But why is it that now, we can use any excuse we want as a reason to treat someone like shit?
Let me type this all in caps so ya’ll really get the message: JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE TREATED YOU LIKE SHIT, JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH SHIT, DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD ALLOW YOURSELF TO BECOME A SHIT PERSON.
I know so many people who talk so low about themselves, and I know I fall into that category as well. We allow ourselves to believe we’re shitty people because maybe someone once told us we were. We allow ourselves to believe we deserve the shit other people put us through. It’s so much easier to just believe that hey, maybe I am fucking awful and unlovable and that I deserve all the shit that happens to me.
NO. NO MY DUDES. HARD FUCKING NO.
You aren’t and will never be the shitty things people define you as. You may call yourself garbage or shitty but that doesn’t mean you truly are that. I think people are just scared to show real feelings and emotions because, sadly, it’s so easy for other people to fuck with that. There are scummy people out there and there always will be, but not everyone is like that. I understand being scared to open up, being scared to trust, and yes sometimes its easier to put on a front of not giving a fuck about anyone or anything. I’ve been there, and I am trying so damn hard to not let myself get like that again.
This is turning more into a rant than anything, so let me slow down here and actually attempt to get my point across. No matter what people do to you, you should never let it change you in a negative way. So someone broke your trust, your heart, your spirit. That doesn’t mean the next person you meet is going to do the same thing. That doesn’t mean you should shove people who genuinely do care for you away, because while yes there’s a chance they could do the same thing, there is also a chance that they won’t. You don’t know how many lovely people you could be shoving aside because in your mind, you’re a piece of shit so who the fuck cares?
Personally I could never put someone through the type of shit that other people have put me through. I don’t think I have it in me to lie to someones face, to cheat, to just do shitty things people someones back. I know how it feels, I know how much it fucking hurts, and I’ve used that as a reason to attempt to better myself. But sadly how open, honest, and straight up real I can be sometimes is too much for people. I’ve been told its a flaw, its intimidating, but on the plus side I’ve also been told its inspiring. I don’t know, you can’t please everyone.
So basically what I’m trying to say here since this has been a huge jumble of mini rants and thoughts and frustration that I word-barfed onto my laptop, always stay true to you. Don’t let other shitty people make you shitty. Chances are you’re fucking amazing as you are. You have your own unique quirks and talents and flaws and personality traits. You’re so much more interesting when you are yourself. You’re so much more interesting when you are your own person. You are incredible in your own ways. Maybe you don’t realize it now, maybe you won’t realize it for a while, but I promise there is someone out there who really does think that about you, and that should mean more than the people who made you believe you’re shit. You aren’t shit. You’re THE shit. See what I did there? Okay I’m done.
And hey if you’re feeling down, you could always turn this post into a drinking game: take a shot every time I say the word “shit” or “shitty.” Good luck.